The Lord Will Provide

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.


It had been raining for days and days, and it was starting to flood. The weather service warned that people living in low lying areas should move to higher ground. The old lady said, "I have lived here all of my life. I have been faithful to the Lord all of my life. The Lord will provide."

The rains continued and the sheriff drove down the street with his bull horn blaring, "The sand bags are not holding. It is time to move to higher ground."

The old lady said, "I have lived here all of my life. I have been faithful to the Lord all of my life. The Lord will provide."

The waters rose so high that old lady was forced to climb to the second floor of her house. A National Guardsman came by in a rowboat. "Ma'am, I will take you to higher ground. Come with me."

But the old lady said, "I have lived here all of my life. I have been faithful to the Lord all of my life. The Lord will provide."

The waters continued to rise. The old lady was on the roof of her house. A Coast Guard helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the old lady on the roof. "No," replied the , "I have lived here all of my life. I have been faithful to the Lord all of my life. The Lord will provide."

And the lady drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the old lady marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," she said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God looked at her, and replied "I sent you the weather service, the sheriff, a boat and a helicopter. You have to meet me part way?"