Pizza Delivery on Halloween

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.


Originally Published September 20, 2009

Halloween is one of the busiest nights of the year for most pizza delivery shops. Halloween is a hurried night for parents trying to squeeze something quick and semi-nutritous into their children before sending them out into candy heven. Pizza is perfect. The kids will eat it. It is ready when the doorbell rings and cleanup is 30 seconds. Then there are all of the parties. Something has to go with peeled grape eyeballs and pumpkin shaped cookies. Here we are! A party in a box ready to be delivered and we can provide food for 50 middleschoolers in a snap.

It can be very busy. For the store I have been in for the last fifteen Halloweens,October 31 was the record Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. The touchdown takedown and the greatest show on turf changed Monday and Tuesday, but it took $6 off every pizza to do it. For us, Halloween is easily double a regular day.

Being busy usally starts earier and results in a more concentrated dinner rush. Depending on where you are and school schedules, "dinner" could be hopping at 4:00pm. How long will you stay busy? Good question. If you have mostly kids with families, probably going to die down around 7. A more party crowd? Slowdown at close.

Instore Tips

Even in "good" neighborhoods go into saftey mode. If you lock the door at 9:00pm and go to buzzer, consider doing that all day.

Callback anything slightly out of the ordrinary. Is a new customer ordering a dozen pies? Is this normal for your 'hood? Call it back. Robberies start as bad orders. Stop them then.

Stongly consider strick enforcement of no masks in the store. What are you going to do, tell the police you were robbed by Jason and Freddy.

Call the police RIGHT NOW if you see an adult with anything close to looking like a real weapon. The business end is pointed at you.

Consider having candy and coupons for trick or treaters. It never hurts to be nice.

Tips for Drivers

  • Wash your car and all of the glass inside and out. You need to see what is out there.
  • Slow down and look around. Trick or treaters do a pretty good job of looking before crossing streets and staying on sidewalks. Their parents are total jerks. A big thing where I will be on Halloween is dad and a cooler of beer in the red wagon getting hammered while out with the kids. Dad put reflective tape on Dracula's back and bought LEDs for Barbie, but is wearing black jeans and standing in the middle of the street.
  • Play it safe. That "funny feeling" is called your fight/flight response. All those humans who failed fight/flight left the gene pool a few hundred thousand years ago. It told your ancestor to not play with that bear, it is telling you the boogy man really is in the bushes.
  • Yes, you will get tipped in candy. Hopefully candy and money. Deal with it.
  • Consider a flashlight even if it is not that dark. What a bummer! I carry a Maglite 6 C cell flashlight. They don't make them anymore. Try this one instead.
  • If they "are just playing" about a robbery, hit 911. The TSA does not play and neither do I. Punk in hand cuffs. Now that is a joke I find funny.
  • Ditto anyone over 4' tall getting near you in a mask.
  • If you think you are in "a good neighborhood" you are wrong. At least in the 'hood the bad guy is the bad guy to the police.
  • Enjoy yourself. I will be at a wide variety of parties. Have a good time and make some cash.
  • Halloween is now a major drinking holiday. Assume that driver is both drunk and on the phone. Also, expect to have to talk to a hungry drunk, at a party, not at his house, who has never ordered pizza in his life.

  • If you work for one of the biggies the difference between a uniform and a costume is a paycheck. Don't get fired for going to a party as the pizza dude.

Halloween Music

For several years I have made Halloween tapes/CD for working on Halloween. I PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD. In general, I want you to hear me coming and get out of the way.

Name Artist Composer Album
Machine Gun Portishead   Landmark Music Summer 2008
Ghostbusters   Ghostbusters Soundtrack
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor Simon Preston   Johann Sebastian Bach
X-files Theme Blue Man Group  
Afghan Victory Dance Jeff Gibbs Jeff Gibbs Fahrenheit 9/11
Jaws Theme John Williams  
Ride Of The Valkyries Mannheim Steamroller Richard Wagner Halloween
Bad To the Bone George Thorogood  
Shot In The Dark/Peter Gunn (Under The Gunn Mix) Chris Mancini & Lennart   Pink Panther's Penthouse Party
Halloween Soundtrack   Drew's Famous Halloween Songs
The Shining - Main Theme The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra Wendy Carlos/Rachel Elkind 2001: Music from the Films of Stanley Kubrick
Tubular Bells (From the "Exorcist") Mike Oldfield Mike Oldfield Tubular Bells (Deluxe Version)
Cold Wind Arcade Fire   Six Feet Under: Everything Ends, Vol. 2 (Music from the HBO Original Series)
(Don't Fear) The Reaper Caesars   Six Feet Under: Everything Ends, Vol. 2 (Music from the HBO Original Series)
The Imperial March (Darth Vader's theme John Williams John Williams Star Wars - The Empire Strikes
Witchcraft Frank Sinatra  
Sympathy For The Devil Rolling Stones nes  
Shadows of the Night Pat Benatar  
Title Music from A Clockwork Orange Wendy Carlos Henry Purcell A Clockwork Orange
Beethoven: Symphony #9 - .2 (Abridged) Various Artists Ludwig Van Beethoven A Clockwork Orange
The Four Horsemen Aphrodite's Child  
Sympathy For The Devil Rolling Stones nes  
Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing Chris Issak   Promo Only Main Radio July 99
Cold Wind Arcade Fire   Six Feet Under: Everything Ends, Vol. 2 (Music from the HBO Original Series)
(Don't Fear) The Reaper Caesars   Six Feet Under: Everything Ends, Vol. 2 (Music from the HBO Original Series)
Blood from a Stone Cycle V   Metropolis (Music from the Motion Picture)
Riders On The Storm The Doors The Doors Best Of The Doors [Disc 2]
Twilight Zone Golden Earring George Kooymans The Continuing Story of Radar Love
Thriller Michel Jackson  
Vector Conflict Theme We Got This Far  
Singin' In The Rain Gene Kelly Arthur Freed And Nacio Herb Brown A Clockwork Orange