Siberian Peach Pie

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.


I originally heard this as Palestinian Peach Pie. The person who told it to me learned it in the 1940's before there was an Israel.

A business man was walking around New York City one day on one of those busy streets with lots of pedestrians and street vendors. He was feeling a bit hungry, and suddenly smelled a wonderful, sweet aroma. Looking up, he saw an unassuming diner with a little sign that read "Siberian Peach Pie today". Intrigued, he walked up and asked the vendor just what exactly was this Siberian Peach Pie? The vendor, who spoke little English, smiled and said "Please try" and offered the business man a sample. The man took a bite and OH MY GOD, it was complete ambrosia. The peaches were the most ripe, delicious peaches imaginable, and the crust was that perfect, light, flaky crust that you usually only dream about. Of course he bought a slice, and each bite was better than the last. He asked the shop keeper for another slice.

"That was the last slice." The shopkeeper told him. "That pie was a special deal from my supplier. He had jus the one, so I bought it with my order."

"I must have some more of that pie." He said. "What is the name of the supplier?" The shop keeper wrote down the vendor's name and number. The business man called the vendor. They had gotten a single case of the pies and they were all gone. The business man asked for the vendor's supplier.

The business man called again and again. He even tried going to every pie shop in New York City, but none had even heard of Siberian Peach Pie. He called the wharf looking for anyone who had heard of Siberian Peach Pie. No one could help him.

The man's work started to suffer because all he could do was think about getting another piece of Siberian Peach Pie. Eventually he was fired, and he began to spend all of his free time hunting for Siberian Peach Pie. He tried the Internet, pie shops in other cities, everything he could think of. But still no luck. Finally, running out of money, he decided to hock his car and buy a plane ticket to Moscow. Upon arrival, he spent his last few dollars getting a train ticket to Siberia. I won't go into the hardships he endured getting there, but suffice it to say that he eventually arrived in Kriovsky, Siberia.

He got off the train and started asking around Kriovsky. He searched and searched and no one had heard of the Siberian Pie Company. As he was about to give up he looked down an alley. There he saw a huge sign that said: "THE SIBERIAN PIE COMPANY". Mouth watering uncontrollably, he ran into the shop and asked for a slice of Siberian Peach Pie. "Sorry," said the proprietor, "we're all out." "Okay," replied the business man, "I'll have apple."